Sex drive

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The joke is that she is making some horns, which makes one think about the euphemism "horny" for "sexually excited".

Sex drive or libido refers to the strength of sexual motivation. Most evidence suggests men's sex drive is, on average, higher than women's. This page intends to gather scientific and anecdotal evidence in support of this notion.

Counter-arguments often resort to cultural explanations, such as female trepidation about slut-shaming and physical strength differences leading to male violence against promiscuous women. However, these counter-arguments are challenged by evidence of higher male sexual motivation in homosexuals and differences in masturbation frequency in stable relationships, as well as by cross-cultural replications.

Despite or rather because of women's passive sexuality, they almost exclusively decide when sex occurs (Briffault's law), at least in sexually liberated societies.

The dire consequences of the sex difference in sexual motivation for men was evocatively summarized by the prominent social psychologist Roy Baumeister:[1]

Given the mismatch between men's and women's desires, most men are doomed to experience chronic sexual frustration. […] They are doomed to be horny.

Overview[edit | edit source]


In many animals, including humans, the males have a higher sex drive and a higher activity level overall compared to the females. This sex difference can be explained by a lower parental investment on part of the males. In case of humans, this allows men to get away with a low-investment, fast life history mating strategy, namely by pumping and dumping many women. This causes men to compete for mating opportunities, raising their activity level and status drive overall. In more K-selected, modern humans, women appear to have evolved to exploit men's higher sex drive to get investment, and conversely, men's high sex drive (with the former purpose to spread their seed far and wide) appears to have been repurposed as an incentive to invest in their partner and offspring, which created a duality of whoring and simping. This is very embarassing for men as simping is associated with failure and desperation the free mating context, hence it only occurs in private.

Sex drive may be influenced by choosiness and the degree to which mating preferences are fulfilled. If women are more sexually choosy, then women's overall sex drive may be lower because of their mate preferences being less likely met. However, there is mixed evidence for women being more choosy than men, with mating context (long vs short-term) being a strong moderating factor. Both men and women state they would less likely use a condom with an attractive partner,[2] and in online dating, both women and men "message up" in looks to roughly the same degree,[3] however, with women caring more about socioeconomic status,[4] suggesting a higher choosiness for women due to evaluating men in more dimensions. Men are particularly promiscuous and indiscriminate in case of their (sometimes embarrassing) short-term dating decisions, whereas women are somewhat more choosy about looks than men in their promiscuous mate choices.[5] But when it comes to marriage, i.e. when the man needs to invest his resources, men are also very choosy.[6] Various studies suggest men care more about looks, especially about youthful looks.[7][8] Further, in one study based on a sample of university students, dominance over other males predicted men's sexual success, not women's preferences.[9] Moreover, research by Roy Baumeister suggests that female sexual desire is more malleable than men's,[10] and due to their overall higher agreeableness and compliance, women may ultimately care less about their mate preferences and might abide by what is socially expected from them. Despite men also displaying a high degree of choosiness, especially in long-term mating, one observes men initiating and wanting sex in ongoing relationships much more than females, with women's libido declining rapidly after following a sex drive as high as men's in the beginning.[11] This decline in women's libido may reflect women's strategy of securing the man's commitment by offering sex despite not being necessarily highly (physically) attracted to them. When this commitment is assured, their libido often appears to decline accordingly. Taken together, this suggests women's lower sex drive is more due to an overall deferral of sex (coyness) and strategic deferral of sex to get resources rather than greater choosiness.

One peculiarity of human sexuality is that the females have a hidden estrus (for the most part). Female animals who are displaying they estrus are said to be in heat, behavior that is actively discouraged for human females possibly for the purpose of paternity assurance and to reduce the incidence of single moms. As a result, women engaging in promiscuity risk a reputation of being a slut,[12] especially in presence of gossipy women, possibly causing them to underreport their sexual activity,[13] which may explain some of the observed differences in sex drive, but unlikely all of it.

Baumeister (2001) notes that sex differences in sex drive do not transfer to related drives such as the wish for a baby (which is sometimes reported higher in women) nor to orgasmic capacity (higher in women), nor enjoyment of sex (roughly equal).

Social psychologist Professor Roy Baumeister from Princeton University wrote about the male sex drive:

"Across many different studies and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual desires than women, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found. Hence we conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive." [14]

Evidence for higher male libido[edit | edit source]

Anaphrodisiacs[edit | edit source]

Tobacco is a powerful anaphrodisiac. It is also one of the most commonly used anaphrodisiacs. But it is mostly used by men, and in countries such as Nauru and Kiribati, smokers constitute roughly half of all adults.[15] Since the prevalence of this anaphrodisiac is so high, and mostly males use it, it may mask the actual average libido of men. Without such widespread use of this substance, male libido would possibly be even higher.

The history of anaphrodisiacs also shows that its historical endorsement by healthcare organizations or other organizations was usually aimed at primarily male demographics, such as soldiers who were offered saltpeter.[16] Such efforts to tame male libido show that the male sex drive was historically viewed as more reckless and in need of a leash.

Anatomy[edit | edit source]

Women get less out of penovaginal sex than men since their primary erogenous zone isn't even in the vagina. Its outside of it on the clitoris. This suggests sex is not even evolutionarily designed to be particularly pleasurable for women. Indeed, there is a mystery why there is a female orgasm at all, given that women would reproduce without doing anything, while men need to inject sperm as deeply as possible requiring a spasmodic motion, and men need to be incentivized to deliver their sperm to an egg cell provided a passive female. The main hypotheses about female orgasm is that it is a spandrel of male orgasm or that it serves the purpose of ensuring male investment by bonding and submission, especially promising sexual exclusivity that men desire, by mimicking men's sex drive.

Asexuality[edit | edit source]

A 2004 study by Anthony F. Bogaert found that there were proportionally more female asexuals than male asexuals. The study also found that male bisexuals and homosexuals outnumbered their male asexual counterparts. This sexual orientation was reversed for women, where female asexuals outnumbered their bi and lesbian counterparts. There were 29.23% of males in the sample of asexuals (N = 195), but 43.17% among sexuals (N = 18,426, X² = 15.30, p < 0.001).[17]

Abstinence vows[edit | edit source]

Among “celibate” clergy, men are less willing to actually forego sex (M 24%, W 3% have had 5+ partners).[18][19]

Aromantic allosexuality vs demisexuality[edit | edit source]

Human sexuality has the two major inclinations of (a) aromantic allosexuality and (b) demisexuality. The former is the more roughneck of the two that is more focused on sex, whilst the latter combines emotional attachment to sex. Or in other words, raw/aromantic allosexuality has a greater amount of correlations to sex drive when compared with demisexuality. According to Jenni Skyler, (Ph.D. sexologist), demisexuality is a primarily female trait.[20] This distinction is also related to life history speed, where a slow life history which is accompanied with more investment in the offspring can be identified as demisexuality, and women's sexuality tends to be slower in various regards (see sex differences in life history speed).

Availability and male surplus[edit | edit source]

Main article: Sex ratio

Not only is women's sex driver lower, but women are also reproductively unavailable 10-15% of the time due to menstruation, around only 15% of which are willing to engage in sex.[21] Plus, all men aged 20 to 40 prefer women in their 20s[22] and the ratio of these groups is even growing due to falling birth rates (leading to an aging population overall) and a slightly higher birth rate of males. Hence, lots of men compete for few fertile, sexually available and young women. The male surplus is especially dramatic in India and China.[23]

Casual sex[edit | edit source]

Women are much more reluctant to engage in casual sexual activity, a sex difference that is directly predicted by Bateman's principle. Women have greater parental investment, so they need to be more careful in their partner choices, i.e., their strategy is more about slow life history speed (LH), i.e., only have sex with high-quality partners who are willing to invest in the offspring. Even promiscuous women with a faster life history speed are generally more selective in terms of the men they ultimately choose as sexual partners. In contrast, men's sexuality is faster, meaning have lots of sex early in order to spread their seeds far and wide. This means that men are much less choosy about casual sex. In case of marriage and long-term dating where men provide their resources, men are also choosy.[24]

Cross-cultural differences[edit | edit source]

Sex drive and sociosexuality (casual sex) showed consistent sex differences across 53 nations (mean d = .62, and d = .74 respectively). Gender empowerment measures correlated with sociosexuality, but were uncorrelated with sex drive.[25]

In a global survey conducted by Durex in 2006, men were the least satisfied with how often they have sex. 41% want it more frequently compared to just 29% of women (d = .3).[26]

There is also cross cultural evidence of the double standard in that sexlessness may negatively affect men's social status, but positively women's status.[27][28]

Dating coaches[edit | edit source]

Hiring a dating coach ostensibly has the end goal of a sexual relationship in mind. However, the rate to which men and women seek the services of dating coaches is not the same. Men far outnumber women in this endeavor. Although visiting a dating coach office isn't necessarily in and of itself a portal into the sexual realm, the fact that men outnumber women in actions that feasibly lead to sex suggests that for men, this is suggestive of the idiom "actions speak louder than words." If data on dating coach statistics is anything to go by, the actions of the two genders, male and female, have spoken loudly. Men work harder to obtain sex and are more likely to engage in idiosyncratic behavior (such as visiting dating coaches) to obtain sex than women. (TODO: Add data.)

Dead bedroom complaint[edit | edit source]

Women's interest in sex declines rapidly while men's interest remains relatively stable. More information.

Women have a higher rate of sexual dysfunction within relationships than men (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty).[29] Women also become disinterested with sex much sooner than men (see the figure on the right).[30] And men are more than three times as likely to initiate sex in stable relationships.[31]

Deferral of sex (coyness)[edit | edit source]

Women are much more coy than men, i.e., they defer sex to a much greater extent. This tendency can also be seen in many female animals, even in some fungi, resulting in the males competing for reproductive opportunities by courtship or intrasexual competition.

For example, among fresh couples, men desired sex earlier in a relationship (M 28% vs. W 3% were "reluctant virgins" in such relationships).[32] Moreover, women much more rarely initiate romantic relationships than men.[33] Men are also much more likely to reach out on the internet in order to lose their virginity. On the subreddit /r/VirginityExchange, a dating forum for virgins, 93.4% of the inquiries are by males, with 44967 inquiries being by males and 3177 by females (despite males making up 69% of the user base).[34][35]

It has been suggested that women use coyness to evaluate the man's suitability as a provider (McNamara 2008, Wachtmeister 1999),[36][37][38] but also to 'keep their options open' in the meanwhile. By being coy, women trick men into more reliable resource provision as it provokes more expensive courtship display such as romance.[39]

As women are less interested in sex than men, they get to decide over sex by the principle of least interest, the primary cause of Briffault's law. This is evidenced by Cohen and Shotland (1996) who computed correlations between when people thought sex should start and when they began having sex. For the men, the correlation was not significant (r = .19), which implies they had no say, whereas for women the correlation was very high (r = .88).[40]

Disorders[edit | edit source]

Frigidity/hyposexuality[edit | edit source]

A higher rate of women than men suffer from frigidity/hyposexuality, meaning lack of sexual desire. Women have higher rates of SAD (sexual aversive disorder) and HSDD (hyposexual desire disorder). Whereas 32% of women lack interest in sex for several months of the year, only 15% of men reported the same.[41]

In 2010, Brotto discussed the prevalence of HSDD among women. Data suggests 34% of women between the ages of 18 and 74 experienced decreased sexual interest often or most of the time. In contrast, Vansintejan, Janssen, Van De Vijver, Vandevoorde, and Devroey (2013) reported an estimated 15% of the general male population experienced HSDD


The frequency of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) and the frequency of comorbidity of sexual disorders were recorded from a total population of 906 subjects studied in a multisite pharmaceutical study. Sixty-five percent had a primary diagnosis of HSDD. HSDD was far more common in females than in male subjects. Males diagnosed with HSDD were significantly older than women diagnosed with HSDD.

—Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder: Prevalence and Comorbidity in 906 Subjects, Rt Segraves 2008

In 1999, The National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) assessed sexual functioning among men and women in the U.S. The survey reported that 43% of women experienced some type of sexual dysfunction compared to only 31% of men. In women, the most common complaint was having low sexual desire (22%) (Laumann et al., 1999). In 2005, The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors (GSSAB) found similar results in a larger-scaled international survey of sexual problems among men and women 40 to 80 years of age. The GSSAB found that 26% to 43% of women experienced low sexual desire compared to 13% to 28% of men (Gingell et al., 2005).

—The Causes and Prevalence of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder: Part I, Feldhaus-Dahir, Melissa 2009

Hypersexuality/nymphomania[edit | edit source]

In November 2016 Janna A. Dickenson did a University of Minnesota study on compulsive sexual behavior disorder in 2,325 adults between 18 and 50 years. It found that more men than women were affected by the condition at 10% and 7% percent respectively (X² = 13.5, p = 0.0002).[43]

Erotic massage[edit | edit source]

Whereas female clients outnumber male clients at several ordinary spa massages, including the UK and Australia, at rates of more than two thirds[44][45], once the venue is of a sexual nature, you see a reverse of this dynamic, with male clients now vastly outnumbering female clients.[46]

Faking orgasms[edit | edit source]

Studies have also shown a mismatch between verbally claimed female arousal, and devices such as vaginal photoplethysmographs which measure physical manifestations of their arousal (such as grool or blood flow).[47] There is also substantial evidence of women faking orgasms (see female orgasm, female sneakiness and resources for orgasms)). Women's moaning might act as a mating call to incite male competition (see sexclamation), rather than as an expression of pleasure, or it may be a vestige of such behavior.[48][49]

Fapathy[edit | edit source]

Overall, fapathy or the coccyx fallacy discusses the trope, which isn't uncommon, that sex is dispensable, and that sex isn't a right. In essence, the coccyx fallacy diminishes the status of sex to something which is akin to a visa waiver, something someone with a residency permit has access to.

Many people believe that sex is dispensable, although these same people are aware that using the term "dispensable" itself is unlikely to garner sympathy, as it seems too tactless and forthright. As such, these people use less blunt terminology to convey their thoughts. Instead, they'll use idioms such as "no one has a right to sex," "sex is a privilege," "you won't die if you don't have sex," or "so what if you're having a dry spell, get over it."

What do most of these people who use euphemistic terminology which in essence amounts to "sex is dispensable" have in common? Whenever you read the blogs, newspaper columns, forum threads, or vlogs of such people, they are almost always without exception female. These female journalists/writers never actually convey that they're female and purport to speak on behalf of humanity in general, i.e., for both sexes. If society was less obsessed with the "gender is a social construct" trope, or "the fairer sex and the sterner sex are the same" trope, then the discrepancy between the libidos of males and females might be less controversial.

Test for yourself. The next time you see someone trivializing the notion of sexual inactivity, check out the author's profile, handle, or pen-name. It is almost always a feminine name.

Female bisexuality[edit | edit source]

Some studies have shown that women who overtly claim to be straight, are shown to be otherwise,[50] which may be related to their history as having lived in harems engaging in sexual activity with other women.[51] This might mean women will spend their 'sexual energy' more often on either men and women. In contrast, men more exclusively spend theirs on women, meaning men receive less.

Female passivity[edit | edit source]


Women are overall much more passive maters. They rarely initiate relationships or sex. E.g., in one informal poll, most women (93%) preferred being asked out vs doing the asking. Conversely, 83% of men preferred doing the asking (d ≈ 2.5).[52] This is one of the largest psychological sex differences and may be even larger due to feminist virtue signaling. Women may be claiming they are interested in sexual initiation because feminism tells they should be, in order to flout 'patriarchal norms.' Avoiding initiation enables women to reject suitors by blaming them for the sexual approach, so it is a strategy that directly derives from their greater choosiness that is predicted by their higher parental investment.

The reluctance to initiate may also show in their reluctance to give compliments or positive evaluations to random strangers. Compliments may be misunderstood as a sexual advance, which again would diminish women's ability to reject a male. For example, on Tinder, male subjects (super)liked 61.9% of the female evaluated profiles, while female subjects (super)liked only 4.5% of the male evaluated profiles (d ≈ 2.0).[53] Similarly, women rate men much more rarely as attractive, both in online and offline dating (d = 1.0).[54]

In a speed dating setting, men inferred more sexual interest from their conversation partners than women did (M 0.78±1.36, W −0.97±1.58, t(196) = 8.32, p < .001, N = 196, d ≈ 1.2),[55] which may be related to men's a greater wishful thinking to get sex out of any opportunity, i.e., a more active sexuality. In another speed dating study, women chose only half as many partners as men (M 5.0, W 2.6). 36 percent of men and 11 percent of women did not get any proposal,[56] suggesting women are twice as choosy.

Women's passivity implies that they desire men to overcome their coyness, i.e. men have to engage in a mild form of rape, which possibly also explains to women's rape fantasies which are prevalent in more than two thirds of women (see rape fantasies). It is integral to female sexuality. An informal survey of readers of the blog "Slate Star Codex" found of people who expressed a preference for BDSM, 71% of heterosexual men preferred the dominant role, compared to only 16% of heterosexual women (d = 1.5).[57] In the "OKCupid questions dataset" (N > 11,000, qX is the question ID, heterosexuals only), the vast majority of women prefer their partner taking control during sex (F 86.0%, M 32.3%, d ≈ 1.54, q463). Women also prefer a dominant partner in a non-sexual sense 4.7x as often as men (F 36.5%, M 7.7%, d ≈ 1.08). Fewer women than men prefer a balanced relationship (F 61.2%, M 79.9%). Only 2.3% of women prefer a submissive partner (vs M 12.4%, q9668). Most women prefer being tied up during sex (F 61.4%, M 22.2%) vs. doing the tying (F 18.1%, M 54.0%, d ≈ 1.05). F 20.5% an M 23.8% avoid bondage all together (q29). Preference for masculinity as broad gender description (F 65.1%, M 8.3%) vs femininity (F 6.6%, M 74.7%). F 17.2% and M 11.6% have no preference (q82778).[58] In two small surveys, men have also reported rape fantasies (10-20%),[59][60] however, there is an important distinction to be made: Nearly all men are stronger than all women,[61] which suggests men's fantasies are not really about being physically overwhelmed as that generally constitutes a physical impossibility. Rather, it may be curiosity or a mere desire to have the women take the 'active' role in terms of initiating sex for once.

Being more choosy maters, women require confirmation that the male is acceptable first, which they gather from social signals or information.[36][37][38] For the survival of the offspring, it is important that the man can actually provide resources. 60% of women said they hoped a recent hookup would lead to a romantic relationship compared to only 13% of men, which on the one hand, points to a more promiscuous sexuality for men, but also to women's desire that the man puts forth costly signals of investment thus corroborating his future investment.[62]

Women's passivity also shows in the manner they surrender to conquering groups of males, may be disloyal to their group, as they have the option to marry into the conquering group.[63] Women also become aroused by viewing animal sex and other basic cues of sexual activity, presumably as a means of reflexively lubricating to reduce injuries or infections. Thus, there might have been selective pressure on overall sexual automaticity to any cues of sexual activities,[64] which appears to be in line with women's overall more passive, obedient and agreeable character.[65]

Important caveat: Women's fetishes for the dominant role could purely be about "testing" the male, thus diminishing the effect size as the measured aspects do not make the distinction whether the goal is actual dominance or just teasing or testing. Female sexual sadism will "always" have a playful character as women are physically too weak to dominate men.[66]

Conversely, men's fetishes for the submissive role could largely be driven by curiosity or the convenience of not having to be active oneself. Further, social desirability biases could bias the figures above somewhat such that sex differences in active vs. passive roles may be grater than d = 2.5. Thus, this difference in preference for sexual dominance vs submission constitutes one of the largest psychological sex differences of all.

Grooling vs erections[edit | edit source]

The most reliable indication of female sexual arousal is whether she's grooling. The male counterpart for most reliable indicator of arousal is the erection.[citation needed] This is the case even though an erection is harder to hide. The frequency per day of the latter is higher than that of the former.

Happily single[edit | edit source]

Statistics show that married or coupled people on average have more sex than singletons.[67] Despite this fact, research has shown that female singletons are happier than their female counterparts who have spouses. Since women prefer a romantic status that renders them into a less sexually active state, the necessary deduction from this research is that sex isn't that important for women - or at the very least, not as important as it is for men.[68] Moreover, men more often report having sex is essential to feeling good about oneself by a difference of around 10% points.[69]

Women are happier being single than being married or partnered up,[68] even though being single in general results in less overall sexual activity.[70]

Homosexuals[edit | edit source]

Gay males[edit | edit source]

According to Baumeister (2001), gay men have more sex than their lesbian counterparts at all stages of relationships, whether the beginning, middle or end.[71] Gay males more likely than lesbians are unfaithful (G 82% vs L 28%).[72] In fact, many homosexuals have "tons" of sex partners. An Australian national phone survey project found even higher numbers, 10-15% reported >1000 sexual partners.[73] Accordingly, the mean number of sex partners is also very high for male homosexuals compared to male heterosexuals (16.7 vs. 56.9).[74] Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt (1990) suggested such male dominance/female surrender patterns may be rooted in ancient brain regions that humans share with lizards. He suggested the type of excessive, promiscuous and anonymous adult-male/adult-male homosexual behavior that is common among many homosexuals (see statistics) may have originated from the archaic vertebrate dominance-and-submission sexuality.[75] For more statistics on male homosexuals, see the homosexuality article.

Lesbians[edit | edit source]

Lesbians, which constitute an all-female pairing, have no pregnancy to fear. Regardless, they were "inclined toward even less promiscuous lives than heterosexual women." [76] Completely 'dead bedrooms' are anecdotally particularly frequent in lesbian relationships.

Lesbian bed death[edit | edit source]

Lesbian bed death, also abbreviated to LBD, refers to the lack of sexual intimacy between lesbian couples in long-term relationships. It is a commonly reported phenomenon which adds credence to the notion that women have a lower libido than men on average.

Internet forums[edit | edit source]

The various love-shy groups were threads on the website Yahoo wherein men and women lamented either sexlessness or romancelessness. Although currently inactive, the male equivalent had 2905 members,[77] in contrast with the female equivalent which had only 48 members.[78]

Similarly, incel forums like braincels were much larger than comparable forums targeted at women, e.g. /r/trufemcels.

Masturbation[edit | edit source]

A study on Swedish high school seniors report (Driemeyer et al., 2017) found that boys masturbated at a rate of roughly 98.9% whilst girls did at a rate of 85.5%. This is a sex difference of about d = 1.2. There are similar sex differences among adults with males doing it more frequently than women, in all age ranges.[79] A study by Niklas Langstrom in 2006 found that 65% of men had masturbated in the past month compared with 39% of women (d = .66).[80] Even in steady heterosexual relationships, men masturbate "4 times" as often as women, mainly due to differences in sex drive (masturbation frequency M 2.02±5.37 vs. W 0.51±0.92).[81] In the past 45 years, the sex difference in masturbation frequency has also not changed despite women's masturbation having become socially acceptable, arguably more socially acceptable than men's (M 5.1, F 1.4, N = 237 boys, N = 76 girls).[82] The onset of masturbation also shows a difference with male onset of masturbation occurring more than a year earlier, (age 12.5) vs. (13.7).[citation needed] Males were more likely to fantasize whilst masturbating and orgasming.[citation needed] In a survey from the Netherlands in 2017, 25% of men, but only 8% of women masturbated multiple times a week.[83]

Adding insult to injury, a 2022 study found masturbation is more complementary for women while it is more compensatory for men, meaning men masturbate more when they get no sex, while women complement their sexual activity with masturbation.[84]

Male line-up[edit | edit source]

We know about what gets women grooling from research on the distribution of female ratings on various apps. One such app, OKCupid, produced startling results. Instead of a normal distribution curve, women rated the vast majority of men as unattractive, at a rate of 80%. In laymen's terms, the average woman looks at the average man at the median position of male attractiveness and thinks "thats kind of unfuckable." [85] This may be related to their intuition to avoid giving a compliment in a dating context. Because if the female initiates, she cannot metoo the guy as easily compared to when he initiates.

Porn consumption[edit | edit source]

At the largest porn site in the world, Pornhub, as of 2018, an average of 29% of its visitors were female, while 71% were male.[86] The Pornhub data agrees with a survey from Australia, where 35% of women are viewing pornography occasionally or regularly, but 70% of men report watching porn occasionally or regularly. 45% of women vs 10% of men never watched it.[87]

Porn conventions[edit | edit source]

Most visitors to porn conventions are male.[88]

Penetrating vs receiving[edit | edit source]

Women's sexuality is fundamentally more passive due to the simple mechanical fact that they do not need to do the thrusting, nor maintain an erection, nor inject sperm, etc.

Prostitution[edit | edit source]

The clients of female sex workers are overwhelmingly male. Even the clients of male prostitutes are usually male.[89]

Women pay for sex exceptionally rarely, e.g., from a Swiss survey 30% of men, but none of the one thousand women have paid for sex.[90][91]

In the US one finds 13.8% of men, but only 1.9% of women have ever paid for sex.[92]

In Australia, in 2002 about 15% of men, but only very few women have ever paid for sex (0.1%).[93][94] In another Australian survey from 2017, it was 25% of men and 1% of women.[95]

A survey of disabled people conducted by Disability Now magazine in 2005, found that 19% of women said they would see trained sex workers, but 63% of men.[96]

Susceptibility to seduction[edit | edit source]

In both studies, men succumbed to the sexual temptations more than women, and this sex difference emerged because men experienced stronger impulses, not because they exerted less intentional control.

—Sex Differences in Succumbing to Sexual Temptations: A Function of Impulse or Control? Natasha D. Tidwell, 2013

Sex-sells advertisement[edit | edit source]

The economic model of the western world is largely based upon capitalism, where essentially profit is God. Advertising agencies are arguably among the most knowledgeable entities concerning the consumer theory of 'supply and demand". These firms and companies wouldn't waste their precious money and time circulating advertisements if they knew its culmination doesn't result in financial profit.

This capitalistic wiliness regarding endemic male sexual desperation is particularly apparent in the case of dating advertisements. In the same way that its common knowledge that men are on average taller than women, it is also common knowledge that dating advertisements primarily consist of potential male clients being targeted with women as the prize. The reason why the reverse is not the case (with women being targeted as clients of potential male suits) is due to the law of supply and demand; the demand for men from women is simply not as high as the reverse.

Sexbots[edit | edit source]

Some analysts have described sexbots as a development stemming from a sex deficit. According to Catherine Hakim, a greater proportion of males experience a sex deficit in their lives in comparison to women.[97] A survey in Germany found that men were more than twice as likely as women to be interested in having sex with a sexbot, which as the aforementioned analysis suggests, insinuates that the sex deficit is experienced in greater numbers by male Germans than female Germans.[98]

Sexual disgust[edit | edit source]

Women have a much higher sexual disgust, which can fall apart from shielding against rape by ugly men, be seen as an adaptation in response to their higher susceptibility to STDs due to the pocket shape of their external sex organs.[citation needed]

Sexual regret[edit | edit source]

Men are eight times as likely to regret passing up casual sex (28.9% M, 3.6% W).[99] Even in the most gender-egalitarian countries, women are 1.68 times as likely to regret having engaged in casual sex (20.4% M, 34.2% W).[100] I.e. women have higher action regret, while men have higher inaction regret. Interestingly, women do not change their sociosexual behavior at all in response to having made regretful experiences,[101] which may mean they lie about their regret or that causal-sex-positive social pressures continue to drive them into it, with their overall (sexual) behavior being more malleable by such pressures as Roy Baumeister found.

Sexual thoughts[edit | edit source]

According to a trial by Fisher (2012), published in the Journal of Sex Research, men think about sex on average 34 times a day, whilst women thought about it 19 times a day, i.e. men on average think 1.8 times as often about sex.[102] A Kinsey Institute study found that 54% of men think about sex daily (or several times daily), while only 19% of women did the same (d = .98), though the result by Fisher is more reliable because it was counted with a tally counter.[103] The Danish project SEXUS found 33% of men and 9% of women have felt sexual desire at least once a day (d = .9).[104]

Provided that men have a much more active love style, and men rather approach women than vice-versa, it can be assumed that men think more about how to get sex, whereas women think about whom to choose as a partner and how to avoid unwanted partners.[citation needed]

The following were self-reported levels of libido from an ethnically varied sample of 676 women and men.

... men reported experiencing a higher overall level of sexual desire than did women. Sex differences also were found with respect to frequency of sexual desire. Men reported experiencing sexual desire more often than did women and when asked to estimate the actual frequency with which they experienced desire, men's estimated frequency (37 times per week) was significantly higher than women's (9 times per week).

—Sex Differences and Similarities in Frequency and Intensity of Sexual Desire, Authors: Regan, Pamela C.; Atkins, Leah 2006

Smartphone apps[edit | edit source]

Borderline sexually suggestive content on smartphone apps have usages at up to 73% male.[105]

Social experiment[edit | edit source]

Experimental vlogs[edit | edit source]

There were street social experiments made by the Youtube channel "whatever." Here a reasonably attractive man and woman each asked members of the opposite sex for a hook-up under similar conditions. The woman received 30 yays, 70 nays, while the guy got 0 yays and 100 nays.[106]

See also chadfishing.

Controlled environment[edit | edit source]

One study on a college campus by conventionally attractive people asked students the following question "I've been noticing you around campus and I think you're attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?" More than three-quarters of the male respondents said yes, whilst none of the female respondents said yes.[107]

Status drive and risk taking[edit | edit source]

Men are more status-driven, e.g. men are more likely to help if providing help is considered a heroic act (d = .75) and they enjoy competition more (d = .8). [108][109] Boys and young men have a higher mortality rate than girls due to fatal accidents, risk taking etc.[citation needed] Since sex is somewhat risky and access to sex is negotiated via social dominance, this should imply a higher and more active (rather than passive) sexual motivation in men.

Tantric[edit | edit source]

As of 2019, in the capitalist free-market city of Berlin, sometimes reputed as the birthplace of tantric massages, the venues for availability of the male version (20)[110], lingam massages, outnumbers the venues for the female version, yoni massages (6), by 14 places.[111] The level of availability of a particular service is a hint at demand, especially so in a capitalist society; in this case, male demand is far higher than female demand.

Transgender[edit | edit source]

Self-reports by transgender people indicates that a FtM transition increases libido, whilst a MtF transition decreases libido.[112][113]

The administration of androgens to females was clearly associated with an increase in aggression proneness, sexual arousability, and spatial ability performance. In contrast, it had a deteriorating effect on verbal fluency tasks. The effects of cross-sex hormones were just as pronounced in the male-to-female group upon androgen deprivation: anger and aggression proneness, sexual arousability and spatial ability decreased, whereas verbal fluency improved.

—Gender differences in behaviour: activating effects of cross-sex hormones. Van Goozen SH, 1995

Transmen[edit | edit source]

Women who have transitioned to men (transmen) had reported a higher libido in comparison to their sex drives when they were women.[114]

Transwomen[edit | edit source]

The reverse is the case for transwomen. For transwomen, their libido decreases as they transition to becoming a woman.[115]

Testosterone[edit | edit source]

The primary sex hormone for both men and women is testosterone. The reference range for testosterone levels among men is between 300 to 900 ng/dl and for women, the range is much lower at 12 to 60 ng/dl.[116] Testosterone is highly important for maintaining sexual drive in both sexes, with deficiencies in this hormone being associated with pathological low-libido (hyposexuality) in both men and women. [117][118]

Virginity[edit | edit source]

For women, virginity is generally a good thing as men invest their resources in the woman and hence prefer pristine partners who are unlikely to have a pregnancy from another man (also low chance of STDs). Conversely, both women and men engage in virgin-shaming of men.[119] Hence, women have a greater motivation to not have sex and men have a higher motivation to have sex.

Visuality[edit | edit source]

Men are far more visually attracted to any given woman on average. There are, for example, countless magazines, websites, forums dedicated towards providing visual sexual stimulation for men, but such media are rare for women. This sex difference likely arises, once again, from Bateman's principle in that men benefit from promiscuous sex with many partners, whereas the opposite is true for women. As women are choosy and passive, men need to compete and become active in order to get sex. Hence, it is a fitness advantage for men if women capture their full attention on sight. Hence, there was selective pressure for men to become sexually aroused in any given situation in which there is a sexually willing or coercible female, that pornographic media capitalize upon.

In addition to that, men have selected women to be ornamented with beautiful curves and have evolved exaggerated sexual preference for this ornament, both by runaway selection. This provides additional pleasure when viewing females.

From this, many mistakenly draw the conclusion that women would not care about looks. It simply requires much better ornament to overcome women's trade-off regarding parental investment and genetic quality of the partner, so much fewer men fulfill the standards for arousing immediate sexual interest. Women certainly look for flaws in visual appearance, so they do care about it, but more in a negative way.

Violent snapping[edit | edit source]

Sexlessness and violence[edit | edit source]

There are far more known cases of violently lashing out at sexlessness in men than in women through methods such as suicide. There are rare female exceptions, such as Christine Chubbuck in 1974. Men on the other hand, regularly kill themselves as a by-product of not being able to get laid, such as Wilkes McDermid.

Eastern world[edit | edit source]

All you need to do to see how insane the male libido can be is looking at the 72 virgin stereotype of Muslim men who engage in a suicidal military mission to eventually make it to heaven in order to get sex with attractive women from another dimension. History books and even show aggrandized versions of this killing-one-self-for-celestial-pleasures, where at times, entire army units enter the fray.

In more modern times, a particularly pertinent example of such incentives being particularly salient to young men who join terrorist organizations is the case of the Palestinian terrorist group Black September. This group was most well known for slaughtering members of the Israeli Olympics team at the 1972 Munich Olympic games, after a horrendously botched hostage rescue operation by the West German police.

When this organization's violent deeds started to become a liability to their overlords, the Palestinian political party, Fatah, they decided that the group had to be liquidated. Due to the organizations (Black September's) bloodthirsty nature and the suicidal courage of its footsoldiers, it was decided that instead of killing them, a better plan to disband the group was needed. [120]

Specifically, the members (the group was all male) were given semi-arranged (Fatah basically played match-maker) marriages with 'attractive young women', and a (fairly modest) stipend of money, with further incentives; including a larger sum of money and an apartment if they agreed to marry the women, to buy them off and allow them to provide for their new brides.

Given these marriages in place, the members now had 'something to lose' by continuing their terrorist activities, this plan was remarkably effective at dissolving the organization.

Thus, demonstrating that one of the most frequent motivations for men to join such groups is the state of inceldom or intense sexual frustration, at least subconsciously (possibly being rooted in evolutionary biology.)

This does not necessarily mean that that inceldom makes its sufferers inherently violent, but perhaps those prone to violence will see such proclivities enhanced by sexual frustration. It is clear that the male libido is so strong it will make some men go to extreme lengths in an attempt to satiate it.

Video chats[edit | edit source]

Webcamming[edit | edit source]

Most visitors to webcamming sites dedicated to stripteasing and dirty talk are male.[121]

Willingness to face jail[edit | edit source]

There is a sentencing disparity in western legal systems whereby men face stiffer legal penalties for sex crimes. Sentences are longer, and male prisons are more dangerous, especially for sex offenders who need protective custody, at times facing guards who "turn a blind eye." Despite this measure of amplified male ruin for committing crimes, male sex offenders outnumber female sex offenders in every underage category, from pedophilic, hebephilic and ephebophilic offenses.[122] Male offenders also outnumber female offenders in forced acts of intercourse with an adult who refused, with the US Bureau of Justice Statistics claiming that 99% of rapists are male.[123] Other crimes such as incest show similar disparities, with 90 to 97% of convicted incestuals in the USA being male.[124]

Workload[edit | edit source]

Its common knowledge that one of the biggest killers of the libido is a large workload. Occupations that involve physically strenuous tasks (such as construction work) are largely an emblem of male-dominated professions. This indicates that there may be large untapped reserves of libido that remain masked since this energy and testosterone is being diverted by society to jettison onto wagecuck endeavors.

Memes and art[edit | edit source]


See also[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. Baumeister RF, Tice MT. 2001. "The Social Dimension of Sex." [GoogleBooks]
  14. Baumeister, Catanese, and Vohs, "Baumeister R, Catanese KR, Vohs KD. 2001. "Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence." [FullText]
  16. Rich, George W., and David F. Jacobs. "Saltpeter: A Folkloric Adjustment to Acculturation Stress." Western Folklore 32.3 (1973): 164-179.
  18. (Murphy 1992)
  24. Buss, D. M. (2016). The evolution of desire: Strategies of human mating. Basic books.
  26. p. 14
  32. McCabe MP. 1987. "Desired and experienced levels of premarital affection and sexual intercourse during dating." Journal of Sex Research. 23(1):23-33. [Abstract]
  36. 36.0 36.1 Wachtmeister, C.A. and Enquist, M., 1999. "The evolution of female coyness–trading time for information." [Abstract]
  37. 37.0 37.1 McNamara, J.M., Fromhage, L., Barta, Z. and Houston, A.I.. 2008. "The optimal coyness game." [Abstract]
  38. 38.0 38.1 Grammer K. 1989. "Human courtship behaviour: biological basis and cognitive processing." In: Rasa, A.E., Vogel, C. and Voland, E. (eds.): The Sociobiology of Sexual and Reproductive Strategies Chapmann and Hall,1989, New York. [FullText]
  39. Eibl-Eibesfeldt I. 1989. Pair Formation, Courtship, Sexual Love. In: Human Ethology. Routledge. [Excerpt]
  40. Cohen LL, Shotland RL. 1996. "Timing of first sexual intercourse in a relationship: Expectations, experiences, and perceptions of others." Journal of Sex Research. 33(4):291-9. [Abstract]
  47. Chivers ML, Seto MC, Lalumière ML, Laan E, Grimbos T (2010). "Agreement of Self-Reported and Genital Measures of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women: A Meta-Analysis." Archives of Sexual Behavior. 39 (1): 5–56. doi:10.1007/s10508-009-9556-9. PMC 2811244. PMID 20049519.
  51.,5 See section "Male Tolerance"
  53. (Neyt 2018)
  55. (Buss 2012)
  56. (Belot 2006)
  57. Scott Alexander. 2019. Slate Star Codex. [Blog]
  58. Caveats here may, however, be that the dataset does not contain "skipped" answers, so this may be biased. The dataset is also limited in other ways, e.g., people sometimes do not answer truthfully but strategically to attract certain potential partners).
  59. Person, E. S., Terestman, N., Myers, W. A., Goldberg, E. L., & Salvadori, C. Gender differences in sexual behaviors and fantasies in a college population. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 1989.
  60. Sue, D. Erotic fantasies of college students during coitus. Journal of Sex Research, 1979.
  62. (Weitbrecht 2017)
  68. 68.0 68.1
  72. (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983)
  75. Eibl-Eibesfeldt I. 1990. "Dominance, Submission, and Love: Sexual Pathologies from the Perspective of Ethology." In: Feierman, J. R. (ed.): Pedophilia. Biosocial Dimensions. Springer-Verlag, New York, 1990 151-175.
  87. <
  89. Bishop, Stacey Jacqueline. "Livability is the victim of street prostitution": the politics of the neighbourhood and the rightward turn in Vancouver's west end, 1981-1985. Diss. Arts & Social Sciences: Department of History, 2013.
  100. (Bendixen et al. 2018)



GameOvergamingFrame (PUA)Signaling theoryRomantic idealizationCourtshipNeggingSexual market valueBeautyCharismaOrbiterBullyingLMSPUAAssholeTalk therapyIndicator of interestDominance hierarchyFuck-off signalsSocial circleSlayerNeurolinguistic programmingDatingOffline datingOnline datingBraggingAnabolic steroidGuitarClown Game

Misc. strategies


Pick Up Artists

R. Don SteeleRoss Jeffriesr/TRPReal Social DynamicsRooshVOwen CookPlayer SupremeWinston WuList of people in the seduction community


Alpha maleAlpha femaleBeta maleBeta femaleOmega maleOmega femaleSigma maleVox DayDominance hierarchy


NeurotypicalNeurodivergentCoolCharismaStoicAssholeDark triadBorderline personality disorderNice guySimpApproach anxietyButterflies in the stomachConfidenceShynessLove shyHedonophobiaAsperger's SyndromeSocial awkwardnessIQRationalityEvolutionary psychologyTestosteroneEstrogen

Celibacy states

SexlessnessCelibacyIncelDry spellDating LimboSingleVirginWizardVolcelAsexualSex haverMarriedAscendedRelationship


HypergamyCopulationNudityCasual sexPump and dumpPromiscuityCock carouselRapeSexual harassmentBodyguard hypothesisBetabuxProvisioningMarriage proposalReproductive successSexual envySex driveBateman's principleSexual economics theoryResources for orgasmsSex ratioFemale passivitySexual attractionAttraction ambiguity problemBody attractivenessMuscle theoryFemale orgasmHuman penisHulseyismSexual conflictSexual modestySlutWhoreLordosisLeggingsPaternity assuranceMicrochimerismPartible paternityFeminine imperativePussy cartelRejection (dating)Ghosting (dating)Shit testAdverse effects of inceldomMaslow's hierarchy of needsCauses of celibacyHomosexualityHomocel hypothesisDemographics of inceldomTeleiophilic delayPolygynyPolyandryMonogamyMarriageTraditionalist conservatismMate guardingMate poachingMate choice copyingIntrasexual competitionFacial masculinityNeotenyParthenophiliaFisherian runawaySexual selectionCreepinessValidationChadsexualHybristophiliaScelerophiliaQuality and primitivity theorySexclamationTumescenceClitorisTesticlesLooks bottleneckGaitIncestpillPraying mantisoidMigraine

Other theories

Timeless quotes on womenFemales are socially ineptWomen-are-wonderful effectGynocentrismApex fallacyFeminismSexual revolutionFemale subordinationFemale hypoagencyFemale solipsismPrincess syndromeLife on tutorial modeFemale privilegeFake depressionFemale sneakinessFemme fataleBriffault's lawJuggernaut lawArguing with holes Halo effectFailo effectSinglismVariability hypothesisPsychiatryCognitive behavioral therapyAntifragilityTriggeredLife historyScientific Blackpill + Scientific Blackpill (Supplemental)Evolutionary mismatchMutationFeminizationBehavioral sinkPolitical correctness‎Affirmative actionVirtue signalingEugenicsEnvironmentalismMale scarcityRegression toward the meanMatthew effectPatriarchyTutorial IslandEmpathy gapWelfare gameX-factor theoryBuy a wheelchair to pick up women gameClown WorldProblematicIncel crisis coverup