In the modern Western context, marriage is a system of legalized prostitution by which a man bribes a woman with food/drink, shelter, emotional security, employment stability, transportation service, an expensive ring and a lavish wedding. This comes in exchange for letting him have regular sex and to know who his children are through institutionalized long term monogamy (in practice, this promise is only broken in 3.4% of all childbirths). This description of marriage does not even constitute all that women may be entitled to in a marriage, but it does constitute the most a man is expected to receive. The symbol of marriage is the future husband going down on one knee offering an expensive diamond ring to the woman. There is a reason why women hate to be the ones to propose like this, because most of the barter is supposed to be on the male side.
Even if there is 50/50 shared parenting and the mother works, it is still a bribe, as the condition for a stable marriage is only the man keeping his job, not the woman. As the National Parent's Organization says, "The key factor in the decision to divorce is whether Hubby has a job. If he doesn’t, even if his job loss is involuntary, his odds of being ditched by his wife skyrocket." The wife's employment has no influence on divorce rates.
As perverted and anti-male modern Western marriage may be, marriage in itself (especially arranged marriage) is natural to humans as evidenced by its very high prevalence from the most primitive human societies all the way to early industrial Europe. There is evidence marriage yields certain benefits such as facilitating investment into the offspring and reducing the incidence and economic cost of single moms and demotivated male incels. In 1826, Hector Davies Morgan wrote The Doctrine and Law of Marriage, Adultery, and Divorce, which argued, among other things that marriage was an institution to prevent (in his exact words), "involuntary celibacy".
Marriage and human nature[edit | edit source]
Marriage is extremely common in humans and can be found in nearly all cultures, even in primitive hunter-gatherers. A certain degree of dependence of women on men, is also universal, with men producing significantly more calories of food even in the most egalitarian hunter-gatheres such as the Hadza, and men being significantly stronger. What is more, arranged marriage is even more common than free mate choice with 70% of hunter-gatherer societies primarily practicing this kind of marriage (especially in the first marriage). This raises the question whether humans have evolved to desire to be coupled by their parents, which in turn could also explain the rise of modern inceldom in an extremely free mating context. However, such adaptations are difficult to prove scientifically and may fall victim of the naturalistic fallacy.
What is, however, unnatural in modern marriage is the degree of institutionalization within large nation states. E.g. alimony, the requirement for the ex-husband to provide for the ex-wife after divorce, is such an institution. It derives from the necessity of the state to make sure everyone is taken care of. Free riders like men that like to pump and dump careless foids create an undesirable incidence of single mothers with neglected children which incur a substantial cost on communities. Alimony solved this problem, but feminist policy pushed things so far that we are seeing an increase in single mothers, due to emphasizing personal freedom and mate choice (resulting in an overall decline in marriage) and due to no-fault divorce making it very easy for women (and men) to divorce. Unnatural is also the indefinite length of modern marriage contracts (which used to be less formal), however no-fault divorce has already largely resolved that. Unnatural may also be the close dyadic cohabitation of husband and wife, with historical societies having had a much stricter gender segregation to the point (see female subordination). There is evidence that women lose their sex drive sooner in the close cohabitation setting, but not when living apart, which may be an indication of an evolutionary mismatch.
Divorce[edit | edit source]
In the U.S., women initiate 69% of the divorces explicitly, and maybe even more implicitly. Your tax dollars then go toward subsidies for single motherhood, and often the state makes the dad pay the woman after she divorces him. The process of women marrying men, and then divorcing him for no good reason and collecting child support/alimony is also known as divorce rape. Women often say this is justified as boomer men cheat about 5% more than boomer women, but with the rise of female hypergamy, Tinder, other online dating, and social media, younger married women of the millennial generation are cheating more than men.
Infidelity[edit | edit source]
In 2018, feminist magazine Babe.net celebrated the finding that younger women are now cheating more than men with their article, "Women hate monogamy even more than men do, vindicating empowered hoes everywhere." Even though it is true that female infidelity is on the rise, data from 2010-2016 actually indicate the rate of infidelity is actually roughly the same for young men and women (10% in men versus 11% in women), with the gap widening with age and men generally being more infidel (though women lie more often than men about their infidelity, which means that this gap is probably smaller than what it seems). The gap is, however, nowhere near the figure of 50% of women cheating cited by Babe.net, which stems from the book "Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free" by Wednesday Martin PhD from 2018.
The Babe.net article accurately notes that women get bored sexually quicker than men, however they draw the false conclusion that this is evidence of a promiscuous female nature. In most monogamous species, including humans, pairs in sexual relationships will participate in an exhaustive amount of sex. After this burst of sexual activity, once the pair bond is established, the amount of sex declines to leave more time for the rearing of offspring. For example, the prairie vole (which mates monogamously for life, though with some infidelity) will find a suitable mate and engage in a 36-hour fuck-athon which will produce copious amounts of oxytocin to ensure the female bonds to the male. It is doubtful, though, that investment in the offspring is sufficient to explain the decline in female sexual desire in long-term relationships as female sexual desire declines even controlling for childbirth compared to no childbirth. An additional explanation for the tendency for pair bonds to dissolve eventually is that this increases the genetic and ecological variation for the offspring (coolidge effect).
Even though many women might find even find casual sex with many men pleasurable, it would be fallacious to conflude that such behavior is necessarily natural or good. For example, chocolatey is a superstimulus that tastes sweeter than anything in the natural human environment, but eating it a lot is actually very unhealthy (and poses an evolutionary mismatch). The same argument can be made regarding drugs. Simply because individuals abuse certain evolved mechanisms to achieve certain hedonic ends, it does not then follow that these behaviors are natural. The pleasure mechanisms in the brain have evolved to motivate the individual to perform actions that are conducive to reproductive success; that drugs can be used to stimulate those pleasure mechanisms is not evidence that those pleasure mechanisms have evolved for humans to take drugs (unless of course taking drugs is adaptive and contributes to reproductive success). Similarly, the burst of oxytocin we receive with a new sexual encounter (which we know has in part evolved due to pair-bonding) can be abused to constantly receive these pleasurable bursts by having multiple partners to induce them. Still, it does not mean that those bursts of pleasure have evolved because of promiscuity. Cross-culturally, it has been shown that extremely promiscuous women were less reproductively successful than more faithful females. This is because slutty women were more subject to murder and infanticide (by of their jealous partners, of course).
Finally, we are told, almost braggingly, that "Anthropologists found that the best mothers, across species, are the ones who fuck the most dudes." Now, whilst this is true for promiscuous species to create paternity uncertainty, this is not true of humans. She lays out the argument that: "By sleeping with tons of guys at the same time, women are able to "hedge against male infertility, up her odds of a healthy pregnancy and robust offspring, and create a wider network of support by lining up two or three males who figured the offspring might be theirs." This point is just blatantly false; the only cultures (regarding humans anyways) where it might be beneficial to engage openly with multiple men would be in certain Southern American tribes. These tribes believe in the myth of partible paternity (a child having one or more biological fathers). Still, even in these promiscuous societies, there exists jealousy between husbands and other 'fathers,' and should a child have too many fathers, nobody invests. Everybody's child is nobody's child (funnily enough, the same applies to women; everybody's woman is nobody's woman).
Trend toward polyamory with rise in divorce[edit | edit source]
With divorces and broken families rising exponentially and marriages decreasing since feminism and the decline of the family with industrialization women tout polyandry as a solution to inceldom and general male loneliness.
The only problem is that short-term, high-friction polyamory in a free sexual market makes incels inevitable unless there is a specific social or government program to address inceldom. The growing pool of incels during a rise of polyamory always ends ultimately in societal polygyny, no matter how many women believe their individual polyandry results in societal polyandry. Many people are concerned about the rise of short-term polyamory with the disintegration of marriage, and propose enforced monogamy as a solution including NKL and Jordan Peterson.
Comics[edit | edit source]
References[edit | edit source]
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