Teen love pill
Just start early or teen love pill is a theory that missing out on dating, relationships and sex during the teenage years makes it more difficult to ascend later on. Sexual inexperience can become a turnoff or even a red flag. Moreover, virgins who wait until marriage will also struggle to find someone else who is willing to wait until marriage, as almost everyone has premarital sex.
Missing out on teenage love hinders success later on[edit | edit source]
"Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis"[edit | edit source]
In a pivotal study about involuntary celibacy from 2001 called "Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis", researchers talked to three involuntarily celibate groups of people: 1) involuntary virgins (those who never had sex and still are sexually inexperienced), 2) singles (those who had sexual experience in the past but no longer are able to, and a good amount of these people resorted to hookers or even sexual surrogates), 3) partnered celibates (those who are married or in a relationship but their partner won't have sex). 91% of the virgins said they never dated as teenagers, compared to 52% of singles. Here is an important quote:
In summary, while most of our sample had discussed sex with friends and experimented with masturbation as teens, most of the virgins and singles did not date. Singles were similar to partnered persons in terms of first sexual experiences, while the majority of virgins reported first sexual experiences that did not include another person. As the data illustrates, virgins and singles may have missed important transitions, and as they got older, their trajectories began to differ from those of their age peers. As Thorton (1990) noted, patterns of sexuality in young adulthood are significantly related to dating, steady dating, and sexual experience in adolescence. It is rare for a teenager to initiate sexual activity outside of a dating relationship. Thus, persons reaching young adulthood without dating may have missed an important opportunity for sexual experience. While virginity and lack of experience are fairly common in teenagers and young adults, by the time many of our respondents reached their mid-twenties they reported feeling left behind by age peers. We suspect that this is especially true for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth. In fact, all eight of the non-heterosexual respondents in our sample were either virgins or singles. As previous researchers have shown, a major reason for becoming off time in making sexual transitions is the process of coming out to oneself and others (Gonsiorek & Rudolph, 1991). Even for the heterosexuals in our study, however, it appears that lack of dating and sexual experimentation in the teen years may be precursors to problems in adult sexual relationships.
Juvenile sex offenders and autism[edit | edit source]
In the study "Sexuality and Autistic-Like Symptoms in Juvenile Sex Offenders: A Follow-Up After 8 Years", a study primarily about juvenile sex offenders and autism, the researchers wrote briefly about teenage romance, writing: "The foundation for a healthy sexuality in adulthood lies in childhood and adolescence, with the discovery of one's own sexuality oftentimes going in phases. A large population study in the Netherlands amongst 7841 boys and girls aged 12–25 has shown that half of all 15-year-old adolescents have been intimate with a partner (e.g., touching each other’s genitalia). At age 16, half of all youths have experience with mutual masturbation and at age 17, half of all youths have experienced sexual intercourse and/or oral sex. Eventually, relationships and sexual intimacy become more serious; relationships last longer and are more exclusive, eventually leading to the ‘adult’ model of a committed relationship."
Other studies[edit | edit source]
Other studies also confirm the importance of experiencing dating and relationships in the teenage years. For example, in the study Sexuality (and Lack Thereof) in Adolescence and Early Adulthood: A Review of the Literature., the authors wrote: “One study showed that adult virgins have higher odds of being overweight and of being perceived as physically unattractive. Four additional studies reported that adult virgins have greater probabilities of never having been in a romantic relationship. Moreover, in a qualitative study conducted among 82 involuntary celibate adults aged 18 to 64 years, Donnelly and colleagues found that nearly all adult virgins never dated anyone, including in adolescence. Thus, findings converge to support the importance of romantic and sexual experiences during adolescence for ongoing romantic and sexual development in adulthood. Additionally, this study revealed that these adult virgins perceived themselves as being very shy and unable to establish social contacts, and reported body image issues, such as being overweight and perceiving their physical appearance to be an obstacle to their sexuality.”
The authors of Has Virginity Lost Its Virtue?: Relationship Stigma Associated With Being A Sexually Inexperienced Adult. also confirmed that experiencing sexual activity and relationships late in life is harmful, writing: "Because intimate relationships are essential to well-being, especially across the adult life course, it seems that being a late bloomer with sexual debut could be associated with negative social and interpersonal consequences."
Many bluepilled people frequently say that missing out on teenage relationships and sexual activity is completely harmless and fine and that it isn't unusual, but nonetheless, a majority of people lose their virginity in their older teenage years and usually experience their first date, first relationship, and first kiss in their teenage years. Missing out on teenage love will make it more difficult for people to have experience during their 20s and older, making them way behind their peers when it comes to relationships and less compatible with potential mates. Being able to experience relationships in the teenage years when we become adults and learn how to behave like adults helps us with our interpersonal skills during relationships and missing out on this makes us interpersonally incompatible with our peers in our 20s and after our 20s.
Admittedly, studies have shown that teenagers who date often experience less romantic or social competence in life. Nonetheless, this is because some teenagers might experience psychological aggression or intimate partner violence or lack of commitment. Studies show that when they experience healthy relationships with healthy intimacy with their partner, the teenager does very well later in life and is competent both romantically and socially. These same studies show that teenagers who miss out on relationships/dating in the teenage years are romantically and socially incompetent later in life.
Bluepillers will argue that teenagers have an awkward time or painful time during sex because of inexperience or virginity loss, but the same is true for anyone who loses their virginity regardless of their age. Two 30 year olds who lose their virginity together or a 30 year old virgin who loses his/her virginity to an experienced 30 year old could also experience this. Some might argue that teenage relationships are dumb or aren't proper relationships because teens are immature, but that really shows that teenagers are simply learning how to handle relationships and that while people in their 20s will be experienced with relationships, people who missed out on teen love will be novices and thus interpersonally and mentally behind their peers, making them more likely to struggle with relationships compared to their peers.
Women are turned off by virgins[edit | edit source]
According to a study in The Journal of Sex Research, people are judgmental towards virgins in real life, not just in movies or television shows. In the first part of the study, researchers asked 560 heterosexual adults ages 18 to 71, about a quarter of whom were virgins, to rate their agreement with statements like "I feel that I am odd or abnormal because of my level of sexual experience" and "People treat me differently because of my level of sexual experience." Researchers discovered that virgins—but not those who were very sexually experienced—perceived a lot of stigma and exclusion around their sex lives. Then, the researchers asked another group of 4,934 single, heterosexual adults 21 and over, "How likely are you to consider getting into a committed relationship with someone who is a virgin?" The results confirmed the first findings: People rated their likelihood of dating a virgin at a 2.41, below the scale's midpoint of 2.5. The researchers also found that virgins were even less likely than non-virgins to be willing to enter a relationship with another virgin. Nonetheless, mysteriously, another study shows that virgins are more willing than non-virgins to date other virgins. In the third part of the study, college students ranked dating profiles of virgins and non-virgins, and the latter were again considered more desirable dates. Nonetheless, in this case, virgins were more willing than the rest of the population to dating another virgin. In a survey conducted by Match.com among single men and women who are non-members of Match.com (i.e.: not members of Match.com), 42% of respondents said they refuse to date a virgin (51% of women, compared to only 33% of men). Younger single adults were less willing to date a virgin than older single adults.
Although this means that 49% of single women are willing to date a virgin, there are still many women who refuse to. This means that if an adult male virgin tries to start relationships with women, he will face a lot of rejections half the time. Although one study shows that virgins are more willing than non-virgins to date other virgins, another shows that virgins are less willing than non-virgins to date another virgin, and even if virgins are willing to date a virgin, virgins are very rare by young adulthood.
Further evidence[edit | edit source]
Videos[edit | edit source]
While there can be a fair amount of women who are willing to date a virgin, these videos show that many women don't want to date a virgin because they want men who are experienced. Men in these videos were more likely to give a virgin a chance. One of the woman in these videos said there's something wrong with you if you're 20 or older and still a virgin.
A turn-off becomes a red flag with age[edit | edit source]
In many threads on forums, while some women were willing to date virgins, there were also some who didn't want to. On r/AskWomen, in some threads, when asked what age being a virgin becomes a red flag, many women would say 22 or 23, some would say 24 or 25 or older 20s. Many people will wonder why you're still a virgin. They'll assume you're either super religious or that you're weird or awkward or there's a reason women didn't want you, and thus they should avoid you. There's threads online where men and women who are still virgins spoke about being rejected when their partner found out they're a virgin. Some of these virgins were as young as 19 or 20 years old.
Is late first intercourse unnatural?[edit | edit source]
In history, it was not uncommon to only start marrying and having sex in one's late twenties, e.g. in the 19th century U.S., around 70% of men below age 25 were unmarried and many of them likely never had sex as premarital sex was stigmatized before welfare alleviated the social burden of single moms. The baby boomers (and the Gen Xers in Europe), in fact, were outliers in that they married and started dating particularly early. Following a low point in the 1950s, the mean age at first marriage increased, leading to particularly late marriage today. At the same time, however, the mean age of first sexual experience has still receded, presumably enabled by improved contraceptive methods. This leads to a paradoxical situation in which it is normal to have early sexual experience while socially approved sex within a marriage is only expected to take place extremely late (if at all). As a result, some will have sexual experience much later than others which may lead to sexual envy and feelings of social inappropriateness and hopelessness, especially when there is no prospect on marriage.
References[edit | edit source]
- Baarsma, M. E., Boonmann, C., ’t Hart-Kerkhoffs, L. A., de Graaf, H., Doreleijers, T. A. H., Vermeiren, R. R. J. M., & Jansen, L. M. C. (2016). Sexuality and Autistic-Like Symptoms in Juvenile Sex Offenders: A Follow-Up After 8 Years. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(8), 2679–2691. doi:10.1007/s10803-016-2805-6.
- Boislard, M.-A., van de Bongardt, D., & Blais, M. (2016). Sexuality (and Lack Thereof) in Adolescence and Early Adulthood: A Review of the Literature. Behavioral Sciences, 6(1), 8.doi:10.3390/bs6010008.
- Donnelly, D., Burgess, E., Anderson, S., Davis, R., & Dillard, J. (2001). Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis. Journal of Sex Research, 38(2), 159–169.doi:10.1080/00224490109552083.
- Kansky, Jessica, Allen, Joseph P. Long-Term Risks and Possible Benefits Associated with Late Adolescent Romantic Relationship Quality. Youth Adolesc. 2018 July ; 47(7): 1531–1544. doi:10.1007/s10964-018-0813-x.
- Gesselman, A. N., Webster, G. D., & Garcia, J. R. (2016). Has Virginity Lost Its Virtue? Relationship Stigma Associated With Being a Sexually Inexperienced Adult. The Journal of Sex Research, 54(2), 202–213. doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1144042.
- Singles in America: Match.com Releases Third Annual Comprehensive Study on the Single Population. Match.com. February 5, 2013.
- Weiss, Suzannah (March 30, 2016). "The Stigma Against Virgins Is Real, Study Says". Glamour.