User:Bibipi/Blackpill musings

The following is a synthesis of arguments I've seen being made online and my own musings.

Refs: https://incels.wiki/index.php?title=Blackpill&action=edit&oldid=49287

Solutions to incel problem

Believers in the blackpill have a wide range of opinions about what needs or can be done about the systemic issues outlined above.

Most proposed solutions are about changing the price or availability of sex rather than calling for changing sexual desire. Below is a list of various other proposed solutions:

• Traditionalism: Traditionalist believe one should return to the nuclear family Some regard religion as necessary, while others simply propose atheistic monogamy. Some fear that a return to religion, hierarchies and chivalry (man proves himself to and protects the woman) will only lead to an exploitation of low status males, e.g. by duty to die in war or economic exploitation.
• Technology: In opposition to traditionalists, some blackpillers claim that technological progress, such as highly immersive simulated relationship experiences and realistic sex dolls or sex bots present a possible solution to increasing male social alienation and inceldom. Futurologist Ian Pearson has predicted that the prevalence or at least the availability of sexbots will be substantial by the year 2050. Sexlessness is a major component of inceldom. Taken altogether, the components and input of sexbots means that the resulting price of the product will be geared towards a middle-class market segment. Polls also show that men are more interested in sexbots than women, as such we're more likely to see the mass production of fembots rather than manbots or malebots. In conclusion, it is a fair bet that inceldom levels will drop dramatically among middle-class men by the middle of the 21st century. Some even suggest soon all women will be obsolete once science invents artificial wombs, or that genetic engineering could be used to make women less hypergamous. Critics of these solutions maintain that due to phenomena such as the "uncanny valley" effect, such experiences will prove to be, essentially, an elaborate form of masturbation, and will likely not serve as suitable substitutes for actual sex and companionship. Artificial wombs are also touted as a technological solution for incels who wish to reproduce without a willing female partner. Some blackpillers also view advances in the medical field of plastic surgery as a source of optimism, and claim widespread societal awareness of lookism—potentially leading to government subsidized plastic surgery for incels—would also present a possible solution to the problem.
• Sex communism: Some propose sex communism and state-issued girlfriends as a solution to inceldom, however others have objected that such projects seems unlikely to succeed socially/politically, as they are well outside of the Overton Window in all liberal democracies, at least, and as such would likely require an authoritarian state that was invested in solving the problem to sucessfully implement, and it is also seen as doubtful whether healthy relationships can form when a relationship is not "earned", but assigned by fiat. Both men and women often want to be proud of their partner choice. For that, both men and women need to know where they stand.
• Enforced monogamy & hierarchy: Traditionalists like Jordan Peterson say the solution to the incel problem lies primarily in socially enforcing monogamy, but he opposes the complete abolition of women's emancipation. In his words, "the question is not if, but how". Peterson believes social hierarchies are necessary for people to have certainty where they stand which he regards to be important for relationships to form because women date up and across the social hierarchy. Peterson says enforcing monogamy mainly works by cultural norms against promiscuity and divorce. Peterson emphasizes responsibility, "growing up", as well as keeping an upright posture, which many incels perceive as Chadsplaining.
• Limiting hypergamy & online dating: Substantial damage appears to be caused by women refusing to date men who are available. This may in part be due to being told to "grab opportunities, travel and keep your standards high" and that "the world is your oyster". Women appear to incite hypergamy in this manner, also by slutshaming (i.e. giving sex away too easily and hence loosing power over men by strategically withholding sex). One would need to establish social norms to discourage such behavior. Such efforts are strawmanned/slippery-sloped by anti-tradcons as going full sexual Marxism/Fascism, but arguably there is a middle ground where simply very high standards are discouraged, but standards still exist.
• Lowering women's status: Women's hypergamy means that for each man there needs to be a woman of lower status. This implies, in order to reduce inceldom, women's status relative to men needs to be lowered in general. Not necessarily as far that all women are below men, but many in the manosphere do advocate for this. Women definitely should not outeducate men as much as they do today.
• Incentives and disincentives: One can also systematically consider various ways of punishing (making less likely to occur) singlehood and promiscuity, and reinforcing (making more likely to occur) pairing up monogamously, whether by removing existing conditions (negative) or introducing new ones (positive). Blackpillers have proposed state subvention could pay male and female incels for pairing up (positive reinforcement). Similarly, it has been proposed to disincentivize promiscuity and singlehood instead, e.g. by taxing promiscuous behavior and singles (positive punishment). Further, one could remove burdens that are associated with pairing up, e.g. abolishing harassment laws and no-fault divorce laws (negative reinforcement). Lastly, one could e.g. deprive female singles and promiscuous individuals of certain benefits they may have (negative punishment). Of course there may be ethical concerns.
• Stoicism: Others believe a positive effect of taking the blackpill is that it liberates from false hope and from expending time and effort for what is, in essence, a futile goal. Taking the blackpill means acknowledgement unethical, shallow and unhealthy mannerisms in the dating scene or even wider cultural practices, such as narcissism and lookism (the halo effect and beauty-is-good stereotyping). Many blackpilled incels eventually complement or supplant the blackpill with the whitepill. Acceptance of the blackpill could literally mean adopting monk status and potentially joining a religious community that provides a sense of beloningness and status, or embracing ones singledom, freedom and independence (MGTOW, monk mode).
• Nihilism, fatalism and incelicide: Some blackpillers say the damage done is irreparable at this point and advocate fatalism. Such blackpillers are often driven by essentialist views that female sexuality is so strongly biologically hardwired that it would require a civil war to undo the sexual revolution, or that it is simply not feasible and has also historically never been substantially better (which is false since the number of incels is likely at a historical peak). Some social darwinist blackpillers promote fatalism and advocate incelicide. If nobody is left to be an incel, then the problem is solved. These kinds of solutions are of course not ethically tenable. Also if the core problem of the unequal distribution of female's sexual affections is left unresolved, then this would require a continuous purge of incels every generation.

Other themes

• Social atrophy: Blackpillers believe that due to gynocentrism, many incels have missed formative social and sexual experiences during adolescence, and won't be able to catch up on them later (it's over). Women are believed to have more of opportunities to do so. In an informal poll, 94.9% of incels.co users said they've missed developmental milestones. The Donnelly Study and other studies on inceldom raised the same point. Men who do manage to attract a partner that late, for example by a good income, are believed to only get access to used up leftover women too old and sexually experienced to be sexually attractive (betabux). It is often noted that social skills are a muscle, and like a muscle that is not used it atrophies. Excluded individuals get no feedback how to behave, so they end up behaving in weird/autistic manner.
• Equal pay: Blackpillers believe admitting women a substantial income was a huge mistake, especially in combination with current economic stagnation. In the past, women's choosiness was naturally counterbalanced by their material dependence on men. Removing this dependence, renders men useless and reduces them to their looks and "social skills" such as superficial posturing, brashness and obnoxiousness (clown world), departing from traditional masculine traits like being taciturn, quietly confident.
• Matching hypothesis is mostly false: The matching hypothesis states that people naturally prefer potential partners who are about as attractive as themselves. However, the Walster's famous computer dating study suggested otherwise, namely that only the looks of the potential partner predicts romantic interest, not how similar they are in looks. Data from online dating suggests that men and women alike aim a bit higher than their own desirability, with few aiming excessively high. This may imply that without enforced monogamy, both men and women will lack pressure to settle for the "art of the possible," thus people remain single. This may be evidence of exaggerated preferences for ornament adversely affecting fitness.
• Greedy parents: Affirmative action incentivizes parents to push their female offspring into careers and to be pro-feminist. This forms a self-reinforcing vicious cycle as strengthened feminist policies only increase this incentive.
• Women in power: Blackpillers believe allowing women in politics was a huge mistake. For one thing, this is believed to fuel gendered politics which will ultimately drive the sexes apart. It is also believed that old, childless and bitter token women are occupying influential positions, causing hysteria about social issues and pushing anti-male policies. It is also dreaded that by now the majority of social scientist, educators and social policy makes are female and hence have a genetic disregard to empathize with men's issues executing their feminine imperative. Feminization of the workplace and politics is seen to cause overemphasis on useless socializing and posturing (clown world), draconian anti-harassment laws and limitations of freedom of expression (e.g. gossiping about or slut-shaming women). In fact, men's intrasexual competition is known to be much more ruthless in presence of women, so women's increased workplace participation has likely an effect to this extent.
• Religions had it right: Another theme is how it is implausible that the vast majority of prior cultures happened to be wrong about female sexuality as feminism claims. Blackpillers often jokingly invoke the trope that religious scripture has warned us of admitting women any power, but we did not listen.
• Lookist & harsh dating opportunities: Contact to women is seen to be reduced to situations in which looks are the main thing that matters (e.g. bars and online dating) especially for the many socially isolated millennials, aggravated by the fact that women more often have their own high incomes, so men cannot improve their SMV by income as much as in the past, and are hence more reduced to their physical appearance. The more unattractive the man, the longer longer courtship is required to convince a woman, so the trend towards brief dating opportunities where only looks matter, such as speed, online dating and bars most likely disproportionally disadvantage physically unattractive males. This is further aggravated by increasingly harsh social rules concerning flirting and harassment. As such, men perceive to lack opportunities to even get to know women, e.g. they reported this as a main reason for their singlehood on Reddit.
• Corrupt psychotherapy and psychiatry: Another frequent theme is that psychotherapy, counseling and psychiatry are useless and give poor advice. It is claimed they merely parrot bluepilled notions about being nice and taking a shower, and are ultimately a waste of time and money. There is indeed evidence that psychotherapist do not improve by training and that the effectiveness of psychotherapy is mostly not better than placebo (which consists in self-administered self-help, or in taking any action, other than psychotherapy). There is also some evidence (drawing on large samples from the U.S and Germany) that suggests psychotherapy can actively be harmful to the patient, being associated with negative personality changes (increases in neuroticism, stress and depression) and declines in positive traits (such as self esteem and conscientiousness).
• Normies: Blackpills about normies usually involve either of two opposing themes:
  1. Incels try hard improving their personalities, while normies often have completely unsophisticated personalities and easily get sex and social life merely because they look acceptable and are neurotypical.
  2. That 1. is a cope and that neurotypical, acceptable looking normies often also develop fairly interesting personalities because they get to live an interesting and fulfilled life.