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Revision as of 10:06, 3 October 2021

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→‎The "5:1" and "20:1" Theory of Social Conflicts: Added more citations on the "just talk positive" bluepill
m (→‎The "5:1" and "20:1" Theory of Social Conflicts: Added more citations on the "just talk positive" bluepill)
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Both [[womanosphere|womanospherians]] and [[manosphere|manospherians]] accuse men who they perceive as nice guys of deceiving women in dating.
Both [[womanosphere|womanospherians]] and [[manosphere|manospherians]] accuse men who they perceive as nice guys of deceiving women in dating.
[[File:EmpLemon's YouTube Ratio.png|thumb|Niceness also applied to YouTube video rating (table by EmpLemon)<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdGbOT8NXnE</ref>]]
[[File:EmpLemon's YouTube Ratio.png|thumb|Niceness also applied to YouTube video rating (table by EmpLemon)<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdGbOT8NXnE</ref>]]
== The "5:1" and "11:1"/"20:1" Theory of Social Conflicts ==
The '''Magic Ratio'''<ref>https://thepowermoves.com/how-to-stay-together/</ref>, invented by Gottman<ref>https://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Marital-processes-predictive-of-later-dissolution-behavior-physiology-and-health.pdf</ref> & Levenson, this the idea that any good relationship should be 5:1, or the balance of 5 positive interaction per negative interaction when in conflicts. Relationships that are at the verge to break down tend to be in 0.8:1 range ("Negative Sentiment Override"). Most interpret this as Niceness being a virtue, but as others have noted<ref>https://thrivetherapyflorida.com/2018/08/22/how-to-be-an-emotional-millionaire/</ref><ref>http://couplestraininginstitute.com/gottman-couples-and-marital-therapy/</ref>, a ratio of 20:1 or higher is often an indicator of "Positive Sentiment Override", which is when one is having a [[Oneitis]] leading to a breakdown in social relations. Peterson<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQk8W8EnbLs</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fesSvXKxYd0</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QVQZSSi_m0</ref> also claimed that 11:1 or higher is enough for someone to be considered a [[Nice Guy]].


== The "5:1" and "20:1" Theory of Social Conflicts ==
This ratio is also applicable to children's relationships and friendships, as noted by Gottman. It has been demonstrated that positivity has some correlation to productivity team cohesion<ref>http://www.bvsde.paho.org/texcom/cd047472/MLosada.pdf</ref><ref>https://teamcoachinginternational.com/breaking-the-code-on-high-performing-teams/</ref> (5.6:1 for high-performer against the 1.9:1 average). Coincidently, this ratio also coincides with the YouTube "Downvote" ratio<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdGbOT8NXnE</ref> on quality and catering vs controversy (<50% is messed up, 50~79% is mistaken, 80~89% is controversial, 90~96% is normal, 97+% is catering). An observation to be made here is that the "niceness" scales exponentially. These ratios are also tied to the [[Pareto principle]], and that the utility of ratings follows a distribution similar to the Log-Normal.
The '''Magic Ratio'''<ref>https://thepowermoves.com/how-to-stay-together/</ref>, invented by Gottman<ref>https://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Marital-processes-predictive-of-later-dissolution-behavior-physiology-and-health.pdf</ref> & Levenson, this the idea that any good relationship should be 5:1, or the balance of 5 positive interaction per negative interaction when in conflicts. Relationships that are at the verge to break down tend to be in 0.8:1 range ("Negative Sentiment Override"). Most interpret this as Niceness being a virtue, but as others have noted<ref>https://thrivetherapyflorida.com/2018/08/22/how-to-be-an-emotional-millionaire/</ref><ref>http://couplestraininginstitute.com/gottman-couples-and-marital-therapy/</ref>, a ratio of 20:1 or higher is often an indicator of "Positive Sentiment Override", which is when one is having a [[Oneitis]] leading to a breakdown in social relations. Peterson<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQk8W8EnbLs</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fesSvXKxYd0</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QVQZSSi_m0</ref> also claimed that 11:1 or higher is enough for someone to be considered a [[Nice Guy]].


This ratio is also applicable to family relationships and friendships, as noted by Gottman. Coincidently, this ratio also coincides with the YouTube "Downvote" ratio<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdGbOT8NXnE</ref> on quality and catering vs controversy (<50% is messed up, 50~79% is mistaken, 80~89% is controversial, 90~96% is normal, 97+% is catering). An observation to be made here is that the "niceness" scales exponentially. These ratios are also tied to the [[Pareto principle]].
The major critiques against Gottman is that even though the satisfaction correlation can be replicated<ref><nowiki>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1828692</nowiki></ref><ref>https://doi.org/10.2307%2F353725</ref><ref><nowiki>https://silo.tips/download/the-empirical-basis-for-gottman-couples-therapy</nowiki></ref><ref>https:/doi.org/10.1177/0265407501184005</ref>, replications of his "programs" did not yield significant change in distressed low-SES families in independent studies<ref>https://www.wikiwand.com/en/John_Gottman#/Independent_studies_testing_Gottman_marriage_courses</ref>. The same can be applied to the productivity studies, where there is a lack of distinction between [[platitudes]] and genuine compliments. This disproves the basic [[Bluepill]] of "just talk out your feelings".
== Notable nice guys in the incelosphere ==
== Notable nice guys in the incelosphere ==
The following individuals have been indentified as nice guys by [[normie]]s.
The following individuals have been indentified as nice guys by [[normie]]s.
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