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'''Shyness''', under the label of, '''social anxiety disorder''', has been built up as an “unhealthy”, or “suspicious”, state of mind for people living in modern Western societies. In that it’s behavioral, “symptoms”, suggest a failure to achieve a non-universal set of racial or culturally based values, such as chattiness, individual expression, and assertiveness. Shyness is more and more defined as a problem for which people can, and should, be treated, usually with [[psychiatry|drugging]]. | '''Shyness''', under the label of, '''social anxiety disorder''', has been built up as an “unhealthy”, or “suspicious”, state of mind for people living in modern Western societies. In that it’s behavioral, “symptoms”, suggest a failure to achieve a non-universal set of racial or culturally based values, such as chattiness, individual expression, and assertiveness. Shyness is more and more defined as a problem for which people can, and should, be treated, usually with [[psychiatry|drugging]]. | ||
Shyness in sexual matters is a [[life history|slow life history]] trait in that it involves careful mate choices and high investment in the offspring | Shyness in sexual matters is a [[life history|slow life history]] trait in that it involves careful mate choices and high investment in the offspring, whereas extroversion is linked to higher sexual frequency.<ref>https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886918306159</ref> Even though adaptations for modest behavior are valuable for modern society, [[sexual liberation]] favors the [[hybristophilia|exact opposite]] in sexual behavior. [[Love-shyness]] may be the result of an [[evolutionary mismatch]] due to modern society abandoning [[arranged marriage]] traditions which were highly prevalent in human history and promoting free mate choice instead. | ||
==Female shyness 'cute', but male shyness 'bad'== | ==Female shyness 'cute', but male shyness 'bad'== | ||
McDaniel (2001)<ref>McDaniel, P.A. (2001) Shrinking violets and casper milquetoasts: shyness and heterosexuality from the roles of the fifties to the rules of the nineties, Journal of Social History, 2001, 34, 3, 547–68.</ref> argues that high amounts of concern regarding shyness comes during times when it is thought of as a barrier to the emotional work required to achieve intimacy in hetero relationships for both genders. Shyness in women and children has traditionally been seen as endearing and ‘cute’ (Scott 2004a)<ref>.Scott, S. (2004a) The shell, the stranger and the competent other: towards a sociology of shyness, Sociology, 38, 1, 121–37.</ref>, and men are given more social stigma as being shy. Media representations of shy male characters focus on the barriers this poses to success at work and in personal relationships (Scott 2003),<ref>Scott, S. (2003) Towards a Sociology of Shyness. PhD thesis. School of Social Sciences, Cardiff University.</ref> where the shyness in romantic situations (Gilmartin 1987)<ref>Gilmartin, B.G. (1987) Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences and Treatment. Lanham, MD: University Press of America.</ref> implies a tragic, “failure”, to assert one’s masculinity. Shyness is shown as a ‘feminine’ trait in the Bem Sex Role Inventory (Bem 1974)<ref>Bem, S.L. (1974) The measurement of psychological androgyny, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 42, 152–62.</ref>, alongside moodiness, gullibility, soft-spokenness, compassion and unpredictability. Being, “mentally healthy”, typically implies masculine instead of feminine traits (Broverman et al. 1970)<ref>Broverman, I.K., Broverman, D.M., Clarkson, F.E. Rosencrantz, P.S. and Vogel, S.R. (1970). Sex-role stereotypes and clinical judgements of mental health, Journal of Counselling and Clinical Psychology, 34, 1, 1–7.</ref>. Therefore, shyness being a feminine trait would explain why shyness has been seen as an undesirable attribute, particularly in men. Besides mainstream culture, the relatively underground network of men’s websites acknowledge this phenomena as well, just more to-the-point: | McDaniel (2001)<ref>McDaniel, P.A. (2001) Shrinking violets and casper milquetoasts: shyness and heterosexuality from the roles of the fifties to the rules of the nineties, Journal of Social History, 2001, 34, 3, 547–68.</ref> argues that high amounts of concern regarding shyness comes during times when it is thought of as a barrier to the emotional work required to achieve intimacy in hetero relationships for both genders. Shyness in women and children has traditionally been seen as endearing and ‘cute’ (Scott 2004a)<ref>.Scott, S. (2004a) The shell, the stranger and the competent other: towards a sociology of shyness, Sociology, 38, 1, 121–37.</ref>, and men are given more social stigma as being shy. Media representations of shy male characters focus on the barriers this poses to success at work and in personal relationships (Scott 2003),<ref>Scott, S. (2003) Towards a Sociology of Shyness. PhD thesis. School of Social Sciences, Cardiff University.</ref> where the shyness in romantic situations (Gilmartin 1987)<ref>Gilmartin, B.G. (1987) Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences and Treatment. Lanham, MD: University Press of America.</ref> implies a tragic, “failure”, to assert one’s masculinity. Shyness is shown as a ‘feminine’ trait in the Bem Sex Role Inventory (Bem 1974)<ref>Bem, S.L. (1974) The measurement of psychological androgyny, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 42, 152–62.</ref>, alongside moodiness, gullibility, soft-spokenness, compassion and unpredictability. Being, “mentally healthy”, typically implies masculine instead of feminine traits (Broverman et al. 1970)<ref>Broverman, I.K., Broverman, D.M., Clarkson, F.E. Rosencrantz, P.S. and Vogel, S.R. (1970). Sex-role stereotypes and clinical judgements of mental health, Journal of Counselling and Clinical Psychology, 34, 1, 1–7.</ref>. Therefore, shyness being a feminine trait would explain why shyness has been seen as an undesirable attribute, particularly in men. Besides mainstream culture, the relatively underground network of men’s websites acknowledge this phenomena as well, just more to-the-point: | ||