Talk:Volcel
I am a VolCel. I was, you might say, an InCel for 2 years as my wife was dying of cancer and I was never stupid enough to go to a prostitute, nor disloyal enough to start an extramarital affair. Since her death in 2017, I have opted to be a VolCel because of the very real risk that I carry HPV, which is what caused my wife's cancer, and I don't want another woman to suffer because I had sex with her. Actually, I made a vow due to the risk. I have been approached by women in the US and Indonesia but either they got scared off by this information, or I rejected them. Some of them were extremely attractive/sexy (and they were the ones I found it hardest to reject). 2 I knew previously but most of them I didn't. Some just wanted sex, but others wanted marriage. The only women I see now are Rosy Palm and her five sisters (my hand). I made public on socmed my dedication to celibacy shortly after my wife's death because several women approached me, and also posted a video on my YouTube channel (your site blocks YT so I can't shared the link).
It has become pretty easy not to seek out women for anything more than friendship, although I don't deny that I sometimes wish for more. I have, by and large, accepted my self-imposed state because of how painful the alternative can be. Watching someone you love die slowly is not something most people would enjoy. I assume that I was the source of the HPV because I had had dozens of partners and, to my knowledge, my wife had never had any. I know of one woman I'd been engaged to had HPV - I didn't know about the connection of cancer to HPV because that was almost exactly the same time that it was first identified. Sex is not a right - it is a privilege, and one I have chosen to abstain from.
Assuming the motivations or reasons behind being a VolCel, as the opening paragraph of this article does in a very demeaning way, is about as intelligent as assuming the same of InCels. I have been friends with some InCels: one had physical and mental health issues, and was extremely shy - I'm not sure if he ever found a partner. Another was troubled by diabetes, which caused erratic behavior, and was often angry and had mental health issues, but finally managed to have sex in his late 30s. A third was mentally ill due primarily to abuse and, although he was handsome, his shyness prevented him from having sex until he was in his 30s, after which he became quite the slut. A fourth didn't have mental health issues that I know of, but struggled with a very high metabolism and was, thus, very skinny and also quite tall, and he tended to be shy. I'm fairly sure that he eventually had sex, but I don't know when. Of the 4, 3 struggle financially and have had depression. Two were socially inept. 3 of those 4 friends of mine weren't what most women would call attractive, but none of them were obese. There are others I knew but not well enough to comment on.
Someone may decide to conclude, from the previous paragraph, that all InCels have mental and/or physical health issues, and that physical appearance is a barrier. The truth is that physical characteristics are sometimes, but not always, a barrier. I have seen obese, ugly men have no trouble getting someone due to their personality. Wealth plays a key role in securing just about any woman you want. Most humans suffer from mental health issues, and there are many who have physical health problems, too. Now, I do not presume to be an expert on InCels; I have not watched enough interviews or read enough scholarly articles to know the preponderance of reasons, and so I can only speculate. However, I avoid doing so because it is not fair to InCels. However, the usual reasons that people cannot get a partner (sex or otherwise) is often due to personality (including shyness, insecurity, fear, anger, misogyny, etc.), health, and/or wealth. If you surely noticed, that covers most aspects of life!
There may well be those who call themselves VolCels who are actually InCels, or who fit the descriptions in this article.
The truth is that I started using the term "VolCel" because it seemed like a great term to use in contrast to "InCel" - but I had never seen or heard the term prior to using it.
My point in writing this message is to make you aware that VolCels and InCels don't neatly fit into one category, and that the opening paragraph is extremely offensive and is the same kind of abuse that is usually levied against InCels. I would appreciate if you would revise it. I apologize if this message is offensive. 2603:6010:6E03:4C15:2543:66D:5BCC:7E7E 14:35, 17 January 2022 (UTC)