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Romantic idealization: Difference between revisions
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Some [[social constructionism|social constructionist]] scientists have claimed romance would be a social construct, but in cross-cultural studies by ethnologist Eibl-Eibesfeldt, he found [[courtship|flirting]] and romance to be prevalent and pretty much the same across the world.<ref name="eibl">Eibl-Eibesfeldt I. 1989. ''Pair Formation, Courtship, Sexual Love.'' In: ''Human Ethology.'' Rougtledge. [[https://books.google.com/books?id=-CExDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PT6&ots=KctjD7Zprm&dq=Pair%20Formation%2C%20Courtship%2C%20Sexual%20Love&pg=PT335#v=onepage&q=Pair%20Formation,%20Courtship,%20Sexual%20Love&f=false Excerpt]]</ref> | Some [[social constructionism|social constructionist]] scientists have claimed romance would be a social construct, but in cross-cultural studies by ethnologist Eibl-Eibesfeldt, he found [[courtship|flirting]] and romance to be prevalent and pretty much the same across the world.<ref name="eibl">Eibl-Eibesfeldt I. 1989. ''Pair Formation, Courtship, Sexual Love.'' In: ''Human Ethology.'' Rougtledge. [[https://books.google.com/books?id=-CExDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PT6&ots=KctjD7Zprm&dq=Pair%20Formation%2C%20Courtship%2C%20Sexual%20Love&pg=PT335#v=onepage&q=Pair%20Formation,%20Courtship,%20Sexual%20Love&f=false Excerpt]]</ref> | ||
<!--Romance is one side of the core trade in human sexual relationships and what is negotiated during bonding: Women want the promise to get resources, men want the promise of sexual exclusivity.--> | <!--Romance is one side of the core trade in human sexual relationships and what is negotiated during bonding: Women want the promise to get resources, men want the promise of sexual exclusivity.--> | ||
==History== | ==History== | ||
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===Modern synthesis=== | ===Modern synthesis=== | ||
Modern notions of romance are extended into real-life through marriage, and retain the chivalric practice of man-proving-himself-to-woman. This occurs through the synthesis of the Greek idea of sexuality as a spiritual journey,the Puritan idea of love being essential to marriage.<ref>https://open.library.ubc.ca/media/download/pdf/831/1.0053733/1 AN EXISTENTIAL-PHENOMENOLOGICAL APPROACH TO ROMANTIC LOVE by Karen Lecovin</ref> | Modern notions of romance are extended into real-life through marriage, and retain the chivalric practice of man-proving-himself-to-woman. This occurs through the synthesis of the Greek idea of sexuality as a spiritual journey,the Puritan idea of love being essential to marriage.<ref>https://open.library.ubc.ca/media/download/pdf/831/1.0053733/1 AN EXISTENTIAL-PHENOMENOLOGICAL APPROACH TO ROMANTIC LOVE by Karen Lecovin</ref> | ||
== Relation to shit tests == | |||
Women's expectation for men's romance can be understood as shit test in that the woman tests whether the man can afford all his costly signaling, such as relinquishing other social opportunities in life that the man could have spend his time on rather than expensive courtship, to see whether he can really afford it. | |||
==Fear of death sparks romance== | |||
Early romance is often spurred by a fear of death, and once in a [[relationship]], that fear often diminishes. | |||
<blockquote>"Originally, terror management theory proposed two psychological mechanisms in dealing with the terror of death awareness-cultural worldview validation and self-esteem enhancement. In this article, we would like to promote the idea of close [[relationship]]s as an additional death-anxiety buffering mechanism and review a growing body of empirical data that support this contention. Based on a comprehensive analysis of the sociocultural and personal functions of close [[relationship]]s, we formulate two basic hypotheses that have received empirical support in a series of experimental studies. '''First, death reminders heighten the motivation to form and maintain close [[relationship]]s. Second, the maintenance of close [[relationship]]s provides a symbolic shield against the terror of death, whereas the breaking of close [[relationship]]s results in an upsurge of death awareness.''' In addition, we present empirical evidence supporting the possibility that close [[relationship]]s function as a related yet separate mechanism from the self-esteem and cultural worldview defenses."<ref>Mikulincer, M., Florian, V., & Hirschberger, G. (2003). The existential function of close relationships: Introducing death into the science of love. Personality and social psychology review, 7(1), 20-40.</ref></blockquote> | |||
==Relationships without romance== | ==Relationships without romance== | ||