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'''Love-shyness''' is a hyponym of [[inceldom]] and a specific type of sometimes severe chronic [[mentalcel|shyness]] that impairs or prevents intimate relationships.<ref name="Brian G 1989">The Shy Man Syndrome: Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It</ref><ref name="Crozier, W. Ray 2001">International Handbook of Social Anxiety: Concepts, Research, and Interventions Relating to the Self and Shyness</ref> It implies a degree of inhibition and reticence with potential partners that may be sufficiently severe to preclude participation in courtship, [[marriage]] and family roles.<ref>http://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/2004/05000/Cohabitation,_Education,_and_Occupation_of.8.aspx</ref> According to this definition, love-shy people may find it difficult if not impossible to be [[confidence|assertive]] in informal situations involving potential [[romance|romantic]] or [[sex]]ual partners. For example, a [[mancel|heterosexual]] love-shy man may in some cases have trouble initiating | '''Love-shyness''' is a hyponym of [[inceldom]] and a specific type of sometimes severe chronic [[mentalcel|shyness]] that impairs or prevents intimate relationships.<ref name="Brian G 1989">The Shy Man Syndrome: Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It</ref><ref name="Crozier, W. Ray 2001">International Handbook of Social Anxiety: Concepts, Research, and Interventions Relating to the Self and Shyness</ref> It implies a degree of inhibition and reticence with potential partners that may be sufficiently severe to preclude participation in courtship, [[marriage]] and family roles.<ref>http://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/2004/05000/Cohabitation,_Education,_and_Occupation_of.8.aspx</ref> According to this definition, love-shy people may find it difficult if not impossible to be [[confidence|assertive]] in informal situations involving potential [[romance|romantic]] or [[sex]]ual partners. For example, a [[mancel|heterosexual]] love-shy man may in some cases have trouble initiating conversations with women because of strong feelings of [[mentalcel|social anxiety]]. The topic of 'love-shyness', with that phrase used verbatim has appeared in academic contexts like an article in a peer reviewed Personality Psychology journal cited 200 times<ref name="Brian G. Gilmartin 1987" /> and a peer reviewed family research journal cited 17 times<ref>Some Family Antecedents of Severe Shyness, Journal: Family Relations, https://www.jstor.org/stable/583584</ref>. | ||
The sociologist [[Brian Gilmartin|Brian G. Gilmartin]] coined the term Love-shyness and created its theoretical framework. Gilmartin performed several scientific studies of chronically dateless men in the early 1980s, and discovered several patterns among them. He collated and explained the theory in the seminal book [[Shyness and Love]], the first academic book about love-shyness to use the term, 'love-shy', has been reviewed by contemporary psychology multiple times<ref name="Elizabeth Rice Allgeier 1988"/><ref>PsycCRITIQUES, author: Jonathan M Cheek, title: Love-Shy Men, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235420368_Love-Shy_Men</ref> | The sociologist [[Brian Gilmartin|Brian G. Gilmartin]] coined the term Love-shyness and created its theoretical framework. Gilmartin performed several scientific studies of chronically dateless men in the early 1980s, and discovered several patterns among them. He collated and explained the theory in the seminal book [[Shyness and Love]], the first academic book about love-shyness to use the term, 'love-shy', has been reviewed by contemporary psychology multiple times<ref name="Elizabeth Rice Allgeier 1988"/><ref>PsycCRITIQUES, author: Jonathan M Cheek, title: Love-Shy Men, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235420368_Love-Shy_Men</ref> | ||
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Some psychologists believe that love-shyness can exist without the presence of phobias or anxiety disorders, like [[mentalcel|social phobia]] or social anxiety disorder—that it can be focused only on issues related to intimacy and not be related to other problems.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> Others believe that, regardless of whether love-shyness is tied to other social anxiety problems, it nevertheless develops its own unique issues that must be attended to in order to effect the fullest recovery for the afflicted individual; that, regardless of the causes, the long-term course of a love-shy person's life is profoundly affected in unique ways, because of the unique and paramount importance of personal intimacy in one's life, thereby setting love-shyness apart from other phobias and requiring special therapeutic attention and support.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> | Some psychologists believe that love-shyness can exist without the presence of phobias or anxiety disorders, like [[mentalcel|social phobia]] or social anxiety disorder—that it can be focused only on issues related to intimacy and not be related to other problems.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> Others believe that, regardless of whether love-shyness is tied to other social anxiety problems, it nevertheless develops its own unique issues that must be attended to in order to effect the fullest recovery for the afflicted individual; that, regardless of the causes, the long-term course of a love-shy person's life is profoundly affected in unique ways, because of the unique and paramount importance of personal intimacy in one's life, thereby setting love-shyness apart from other phobias and requiring special therapeutic attention and support.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> | ||
Love-shyness may be a stand-alone phobia (independent of other phobias), or may also be a subset of social anxiety disorder, also sometimes called social phobia.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/><ref name="Crozier, W. Ray 2001"/> Some psychologists also hold that avoidant personality disorder can in some cases be an underlying cause of intimacy avoidance or love-shyness in certain individuals.<ref>Gale Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, chapter, Avoidant personality disorder</ref><ref>Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments</ref> Some also refer to love-shyness as [[erotophobia]] or [[genophobia]] although both are also seen by some as being a much more narrowly-defined problem than love-shyness (tied only to sex and not having the broader spectrum of love-shyness, which is seen as being more multi-dimensional).<ref>title: Effects of anonymity, gender, and erotophilia on the quality of data obtained from self-reports of socially sensitive behaviors, journal: Journal of Behavioral Medicine, year=2002, volume=25, issue=5, pages=439–467, doi=10.1023/A:1020419023766</ref> Others would define erotophobia as one type of love-shyness.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> In some cases, another specific phobia, [[BDD|body dysmorphic disorder]] (a phobia of being seen as physically unattractive) may also be an underlying cause of love-shyness.<ref name="Phillips, K. A. 1996 p141">Author: Phillips, K. A., year: 1996, title: The broken mirror: Understanding and treating body dysmorphic disorder, page: 141, location: New York, publisher: Oxford University Press, isbn=0-19-508317-2</ref> | Love-shyness may be a stand-alone phobia (independent of other phobias), or may also be a subset of social anxiety disorder, also sometimes called social phobia.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/><ref name="Crozier, W. Ray 2001"/> Some psychologists also hold that avoidant personality disorder can in some cases be an underlying cause of intimacy avoidance or love-shyness in certain individuals.<ref>Gale Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, chapter, Avoidant personality disorder</ref><ref>Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments</ref> Some also refer to love-shyness as [[erotophobia]] or [[genophobia]] although both are also seen by some as being a much more narrowly-defined problem than love-shyness (tied only to sex and not having the broader spectrum of love-shyness, which is seen as being more multi-dimensional).<ref>title: Effects of anonymity, gender, and erotophilia on the quality of data obtained from self-reports of socially sensitive behaviors, journal: Journal of Behavioral Medicine, year=2002, volume=25, issue=5, pages=439–467, doi=10.1023/A:1020419023766</ref> Others would define erotophobia as one type of love-shyness.<ref name="Brian G 1989"/> In some cases, another specific phobia, [[BDD|body dysmorphic disorder]] (a phobia of being seen as physically unattractive) may also be an underlying cause of love-shyness.<ref name="Phillips, K. A. 1996 p141">Author: Phillips, K. A., year: 1996, title: The broken mirror: Understanding and treating body dysmorphic disorder, page: 141, location: New York, publisher: Oxford University Press, isbn=0-19-508317-2</ref> "Love avoidant", is a common synonym of love-shy. | ||
==The origin of love-shyness== | ==The origin of love-shyness== | ||